Powdered Eggs by Charles Simmons

Author:Charles Simmons [Simmons, Charles]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-4804-6754-5
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2013-12-18T15:57:00+00:00

MY STOCK DECLINES AT MUI. I bring in tapes, I play one, Fox fidgets, Wally puts on another, Fox goes to the John, Wally gives me a lecture, as follows. I don’t hear you talking, kid, I don’t hear the slogans, HE WHO LEARNS EARNS, A CHILD TAUGHT IS A FUTURE BOUGHT, HE WHO KNOWS GOES. There’s a fucking lot of wisdom in those thoughts, kid. I can’t hear nothing, have you got the folder out? I don’t hear the pages rattle. You’re not doing a social bit here, kid. You can’t sit on your can, you got to push. You know what I mean? Push. What’s the matter, kid, these guys don’t know nothing. If they weren’t dopes they’d be selling and you’d be buying. And the dumber they are, the softer they are, that’s a basic of salesmanship. I’ll tell you something, kid, to a dope I can sell shit in a fancy wrapper. Is that what you’re selling me, I said. That’s it, kid, be snotty. What do you want, you want to smell them or sell them? I go into a guy’s home, if the guy’s nice I’m nice, if the guy’s snotty I’m snotty. I say to them, Mr. Jerk, I hope you will pardon my expression, but you are a stupid person. Maybe no one ever called you a stupid person before, but I am calling you a stupid person, and I’ll tell you why, Mr. Jerk, because I came here in your home to talk about your kid’s future, and you’re not listening. You listen to the doctor when he comes, don’t you? You’re shaking your head, Mr. Jerk, does that mean you do or you don’t, because I don’t know from the way you’re acting whether you listen to the doctor. I wouldn’t be surprised if you put cotton in your ears and it goes in one ear and out the other, because I came here to tell you something just as important as the doctor. I came here to tell you that if your kid isn’t educated he’s through. I don’t know what your line is, you didn’t have the courtesy to acknowledge what your line is, maybe you collect garbage, but I’ll tell you something, if your kid doesn’t have an education today he won’t even collect garbage. You know what he’ll do, and I choose my words with full appreciation, he’ll be a bum. You feed your kid, don’t you, Mr. Jerk? You see to it that he gets nourished right up to the teeth. But what do you do about the mind, because if you don’t fill up the mind you might as well throw away all the good nourishment and send him out on the street with the rest of the bums, because that’s where he’ll end up, standing around on the street with his hands in his pocket. You see these kids with their hands in their pockets, what’s on their minds, Mr. Jerk? Who knows, you know what I mean, Mr.

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